in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
