You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
