nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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