I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
