I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
