she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
