you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
