I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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