I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
