I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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