She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
