so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
