I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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