I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
