But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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