Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
