i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
