Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
