Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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