Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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