If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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