i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
