I feel like I'm in dance class right now
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
