You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Randomize
