Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
