it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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