I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
