wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize