the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
