ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
