Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
