Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
