Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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