please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
