Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
