Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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