I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
