I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
