false alarm. still invincible.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
