well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
