She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
me + whiskey = a bad person
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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