ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
