I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're breaking my sexual little heart
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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