Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
