At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
