State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
