I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
