i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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