So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
