I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
