i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
