Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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