Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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