You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
