We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
