So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
