I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
