Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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