i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
