K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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