I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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