i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
