There was a lot of him and a little penis
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
