Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
