i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
