btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
