I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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