i need an iv and a liver transplant
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
