So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize