the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
