dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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